Understanding Teenage Behavior

The transition into the teenage years is also a transition away from parental control.  Naturally this is going to cause friction within the family and the parent-child relationship.  The young teen is beginning to establish his or her own personal and sexual identity and values and the strategies needed to survive in an adult world. Parents and teens need to negotiate family rules like the amount of parental supervision and this often leads to conflict.  Teenagers are also learning to interact with other adults and with people their own age in different social settings leading to different behavioral criteria which can be at odds with their parents’ standards.

A good relationship with parents may not guarantee a successful transition through adolescence as the changes in relationships, social contexts, and status can generate feelings of stress, rejection and even anger.  Acting out in the family environment, school or community with anti-social or even violent behavior is a common response to being restricted by authority figures.

Parents going through difficult times with teenagers need support and encouragement as they face the stress of disintegrating formerly loving relationships. They need to be able to evaluate the seriousness of the problems, decide when to seek professional help and learn how to keep positive as they work to improve their family relationships.  Teens also need to know that they must work at building mutual respect, cooperation, responsibility and self-reliance.   Early recognition of problems and reacting with the right interventions saves a lot of heartache later on.

The distinction between normal teenage rebellion and serious problem behavior causing distress and disruption within the family is not an easy one to make, but must be addressed especially if the child’s behavior is affecting the parents, family life, the marriage and other siblings.  Professional advice can help parents decide if the child has Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) where a child displays a pattern of seriously negative, defiant, disobedient and hostile behavior.  This is when family and individual counseling should begin rebuilding strong and healthy family relationships.

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