When Do You Seek Help?
If your teen is defiant, disrespectful, uncooperative or even hostile, you know you have serious work ahead. You need to retain control of the situation and decide when you need professional help. A rule of thumb to identify Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) is when the child has been exhibiting a refusal to follow commands or requests by adults for at least six months and is stubborn, easily annoyed, tests limits and pushes boundaries, argues and refuses to obey rules and blames others for their mistakes. Intervention is then necessary to restore responsible behavior and to prevent further conflict and a more serious breakdown of family relationships.
Teenagers’ eating disorders, attention deficit disorder, addiction to TV, computers and cell phones are some of the many problems parents face. Argumentative, abusive behavior and blatant disregard of rules creates family tensions. Abrupt changes in personality, poor emotional control, blame-shifting and being “above the law” are more indications needing a response along with lying, stealing or manipulative behavior. More serious issues such as drug or alcohol use and abuse, truancy or fighting at school must be dealt with and of course run-ins with the law demand another level of action.
As parents, you will want to be reassured that any learning disabilities have already been diagnosed and are being addressed – such as attention deficit disorder or attention deficit hyperactive disorder. Bipolar disorder and schizophrenia should be considered for diagnosis as well as depression and self-mutilation. Attempted or threats of suicide can follow from low self-esteem or poor self-image and need immediate intervention. Once a serious mood or psychotic disorder is ruled out or other condition needing clinical help and medication, then the parent is left with a diagnosis of ODD to work with.
Family and individual counseling can determine underlying issues and provide strategies for behavior change. Parenting classes and support groups can help establish ways of providing consistency, structure and a less stressful home environment. Adherence to a planned approach is helpful for everyone – beginning at home, then extending to therapy, then working with the school and community are steps to take before finally considering an out-of-home residential treatment program.
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